The Twisted Ho-Cake

Dear Caitlyn,


We do not starve you. You are allowed food whenever you request it. Please refrain from hording cheetos, crackers, and other various snacks in your toy kitchen and other toys.


Love,


Your mother




Dear Jay,


I love you more than ice cream. But if you do not stop snoring, I may have to find a new bed partner.


Love,


Your tired wife.




Dear annoying psycho twit SIL,


It is a weekend. My child is gone. So no I am not going to help you work.
Just because I have in the past, does not mean I will everytime. Find someone else to manipulate. Do not call me again tonight, or there will be bloodshed.


Love,


Your sane sister in law.



Dear Jay,


Snoring in the papasan next to me as I write this post does not endear you to me.


Love,


Your unamused wife.




Dear Shan,


No way in hell am I wearing that monstrosity you call a dress. It's a bit much, don't you think?


Love,


Your latest victim Friend




Dear Jay,


Saying assinine comments is a good way to aggravate me. Whining like a two year old because you have a head cold isn't fun either.


Love,


Your annoyed wife.



Dear Dish Network Advnaced Tech Guy,


Apparantly you are stupid and have no idea what you are talking about. You will be hearing from me next week. It won't be pleasant.


Love,


This extremely aggravated retailer's assistant.


Dear Aunt *#$*,


you are in your thirties. Get over it.


Love,


Your neice.



Dear Jay,


Hacking up a lung while cuddling is not romantic. Take some medicine and go to bed. The guest bed preferably.


Love,


Your oh so caring wife.