Dirty, violent and crazy all together.

Jen and I have a new word as Jen discussed on Tempted the other day.

It's funny that Jen described the word as Dirty, violent and crazy all together.

Because that is in fact what we are when we get together (Jen, Jill &I)! We are dirty, kinda hard not to be when we're all perverted. (Who said that?!) We are violent, especially when it comes to the men in our lives, Hey they deserve it! Most of the time. And we are Crazy--after all Normal is overrated.

Right GIRLS???



P.S. I'm bored.

Afflictions, Randomness, and B HAS HERPES

Basira says:
i don't care
Jill says:
well i do
Basira says:
i have a damn rash!
Kris says:
My boobs hurt
Jill says:
my pussy i think smells (this was said because Kevin's dog keeps sniffing her there.)
Jennifer says:
lol

Basira says:
i have a damn rash!
Basira says:
JP
Jill says:
yes?
Kris says:
yeah well
Kris says:
my boobs hurt
Jill says:
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
Kris says:
that trumps your rash

Basira says:
my rash is spreading!
Kris says:
Is it syphilis?
Basira says:
on my arm!
Basira says:
not anywhere that you maybe thinking
Kris says:
Where's your arm been?
Kris says:
What have we told you about sending your arms up there
Basira says:
nothing
Jill says:
lol
Kris says:
well this is how you get syphilis on the arm
Kris says:
or maybe its gonorrhea
Basira says:
its a rash!
Kris says:
Herpes is a rash
Basira says:
hehe
Kris says:
B has herpes
Jill says:
ewwwwwwwwwwwwww
Basira says:
i do not!

Kris says:
going now
Kris says:
and B
Kris says:
I think your rash is
Kris says:
herpes
Kris says:
or syphilis
Jennifer says:
i'm not
Kris says:
keep the STD arm away
Basira says:
dude
Basira says:
i am innocent~

Jill says:
go to a Doctor
Jill says:
get a cream
Jill says:
be new again and rashless
Kris says:
THey can treat herpes now
Basira says:
omg
Jennifer says:
the gift that keeps on giving
Jill says:
they can?
Basira says:
i am never telling KRis things
Kris says:
yes
Kris says:
with Valtrex
Kris says:
havn't you seen the lovely commercials
Jill says:
oh that is right
Jill says:
i have
Jennifer says:
it's treatable, just not curable
Basira says:
oh
Jill says:
oh god
Kris says:
That's what they say on the commercial
Basira says:
oh
Basira says:
sorry
Kris says:
okay B
Kris says:
they can treat your herpes
Basira says:
on my arm?
Kris says:
yes
Basira says:
i have herpes on my arm?
Basira says:
i thought herpes was somewhere down there
Basira says:
not on the arm
Basira says:
and i do not have herpes!

I hate it.........

When I let things get to me, even though I know I shouldn't.

Take for example the fact that no matter what is going on or what he's done, my mother will always take the baby bro's side. Always. It's a proven fact. Break into my house and ruin my freshly stained hardwood floors, "I'm sure he didn't mean to." Get arrested and owe fines and lose his license. "It wasn't his fault."

Then there's the MIL, oh the lovely MIL who apparantly thinks that the hubby and I are too neglectful to feed, bathe, or give our child attention. Yeah. That was a lovely chat.

Toss in the SIL who hates me because of a flipping TV show couple. yeah Brid, right on with that! Then there's the other whiney babbling lunatic of a SIL. The one who needs serious therapy but has decided a baby will make things all better. yeah. Cuz an unstable person really needs to add the instability of a pregnancy to her life. Woohoo we're really thinking with our brains there, yeah buddy.

Lets add in JC's new girlfriend here too, the girl HATES me. I've done nothing at all ever to her, hardly know her and she is all snarly and I just don't get it.

Am I that evil of a person? I mean really do I derserve all the bullshit?

JJ says its because I'm too nice and I try to hard to like everybody. and he says I overcompensate and other people don't appreciate it. URG. IS the man right?

I'm thinking of crawling in a hole for a week or so.

The best part

about IMing with Jen and Jill is..............

Kevin and Bill coming into the conversation in the middle with no warning.

Bill, Gotta love the perverted insane meanderings of your mind sometimes! You always make me smile and laugh, and of course I flove you.

Kevin, You are funny too sometiems, but mostly. I just love confusing you. :) And hey. You're in on the secret now, so YOu have to keep the mouth closed about it as well. :)


Edited to Add Quotes (as requested by Jen!)

These are to show the normal routine convo Jen and I were having. Until she went to finish cooking lunch and take the laptop upstairs to get ready to watch a show. Books, kids, you know everything. :)

Jennifer says:
Alexander glared at her, sending her a subliminal message, the kind he knew she understood from their long years of friendship. You’re a manipulative little bitch.
She shot him a Mona Lisa smile, an expression that said plainly, I know.
(excerpt from book)
Kris says:
WOOT!
Jennifer says:
I can just see you and JC having a "convo" like that
Kris says:
yep!

Jennifer says:
damn kid
Kris says:
Mine pretty much told me a nap was not in her future
Jennifer says:
lol

Jennifer says:
tv on upstairs
Kris says:
woot. brb

And here's where Bill jumps in...(I changed the text to red to signify it)

Jennifer says:
she just totally blew you off
Jennifer says:
she doesn't like you anymore
Jennifer says:
I still love you and lust for you though
Kris says:
lol
Kris says:
awww
Kris says:
YAY
Kris says:
Bill loves me
Jennifer says:
yup
Jennifer says:
i'm sitting here in my underwear talking to you too
Kris says:
AWW now thats special treatment
Jennifer says:
i'm romantic that way
Kris says:
lol yes you are
Kris says:
I re-emailed you something. Hope you get it this time
Jennifer says:
she's taking the LT up to the BR so she can talk to you and watch whatever you ladies are watching

and later.....
Jennifer says:
ahh that's why the door's locked and here humming
Jennifer says:
LOL
Kris says:
LMAO
Kris says:
its not on yet
Jennifer says:
maybe she'
Jennifer says:
just warming up

and even later....
Kris says:
I feel so loved
Jennifer says:
you should
Jennifer says:
for a man to murder nearly a million of his potential offspring on your face is quite an honor
Kris says:
lmao
Kris says:
yeah
Kris says:
such a romantic gesture as well

Things Accomplished this week

• Countertops down


• Sink in place


• Became Kevin's Favorite


• Became Bill's Favorite


• Shocked the DH (in a good way!)


• Actually got to read a little bit


• Went to a boring family event and didn't kill the annoying freaky one.


• Drove my mother insane, by telling her a secret she was only permitted to tell her husband


• Got Caity to use the potty twice


• Discovered the real reason for the mini fridge in the office


• Made a DVD slideshow thingy for said boring Family event.


• Irritated the SIL


• Corrupted Basi a little more


• Concocted evil schemes with Jen and Jilly

It's just not the same..........

With Jilly gone.

Who else are we going to have dirty IM chats with?

And discuss books with? And and.

I miss my JILLY.

Dearest Kevin

Dear Kevin,

Edited: Because he appeased the Jilly Queen. :)

here are some rules.

#1 Never tell a woman her jeans don't fit because of snickers.
#2 Never tell a woman to relax and get over it!
#3 Never tell a Redhead what to do!
#4 Never laugh in a womans face when she's worried about something serious.
#5 Never abuse your power.
#6 Never bark out orders to someone with out knowing if they are busy!
#7 Never take shit off someones computer without asking first!
#8 Listen carefully to your woman telling you want to do. She knows stuff!
#9 Think than speak.

She's so INNOCENT.

RIGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHT.

then why do I get this in my inbox.


From: B....

And loser, well he is a loser on drugs, he fell a sleep right away so I don't think he even ejaculated.

JC decides he needs a wifey

So JC has decided he needs a wife. And he's developed a list of requirements. And he's asked that I help find her for him in the next ten days. AS if that's happening.

Here are his requirements...

1. Must be willing to do all laundry.
2. Has to do all cooking, and must cook well.
3. Must be willding to do all housework, except taking out the trash and mowing.
4. Must Be willing to have sex daily
5. Must Breed Well.
6. No previous children. Or husbands.
7. Want to elope. No big wedding.
8. Work full time.
9. Be okay with video games. (My playing them)
10. Never complain or argue or disagree to/with me.
11. Must have all of her teeth.
12. Doesn't have to be model sexy, but must be pretty.
13. Submissive. (Kris is the only dominant female allowed in my life)
14. Must be Flexible


Oh yes. And when asked why he needs a wife he replied "Because my laundry's rarely done and I hate cooking."

He considers placing an ad. Yeah. Cuz that'll find him some real winners. I'm sure.

Dearest Husband Bill,

First Hugs, Smoochies, and all that great shit.

Now lets get to the important stuff.

You seem to have forgotten that both Jen and I love you no matter what. So To drive this point home.

WE LOVE YOU!

As do the kids.

And, we are sorry that work sucks major ass lately. We think you should maim the employees discreetly outside of work of course. If you need help, Jen and I are fans of torture.

If you'd like, we offer to videotape it as well, so when they act up again, you can view it and remember the pleasure of watching their asses get kicked. Just a suggestion.

FLOVES,

Wife Kris

So....

Kevin informs me that everything I've asked him about is in fact illegal.

I think that's just cruel and unusual punishment.

The plus side is that he won't arrest me if he's the one who catches me in the act. Or you know
If its with him.

So Kevin, Jilly, Where's that ticket??

Welcome Athena...

The newest member of our family.